Laugh Your Way to Success with These 52 Business Jokes!

Laugh Your Way to Success with These 52 Business Jokes! - The Marketing Shack - Web Design and Digital Marketing Services

Are you ready to laugh your way through the world of business and marketing? Get ready to chuckle, snigger, and maybe even snort with this collection of 52 side-splitting jokes that will surely have your colleagues rolling in the aisles. From pun-tastic slogans to hilariously relatable office scenarios, these jokes are perfect for lightening the mood during those long meetings or impressing your coworkers with good old-fashioned dad humour.

My boss asked me to put a joke on the first slide of the presentation… apparently, a picture of my pay slip wasn’t what he was looking for.

My boss told me to stop acting like a flamingo, so I had to put my foot down.

“‘We need somebody for this role who is responsible.’

‘Not a problem, sir. Every time something went wrong in my old job, my manager told me I was always responsible!‘”

Why did the doughnut maker retire? He was tired of the hole business!

What happens when business slows right down at a medicine factory? You can hear a cough drop.

What did the ruthless businessperson say to their employees? If at first you don’t succeed, you’re fired!

Why did the electrician close business once a week? Because business was light.

I told my female colleague that she drew her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised.

My boss is very easygoing. He told me not to think of him as the boss, rather, think of him as a friend who is never wrong.”

How many marketers does it take to screw a light bulb? None, they have already automated it.

I don’t like to complain about the customer service of any business but I didn’t appreciate being pushed over by the stock broker when I asked him to check my balance.

He gave a great 10-minute business speech yesterday. The only problem was it took him an hour to deliver it.

How many opticians does it take to change a light bulb? Is it one or two? One… or two? One…or two?

I recently met a limo driver who was in business for over 30 years. Despite trying his hardest, he didn’t get one single customer…all this time and nothing to chauffeur it.

Why are barbers some of the best drivers around? Because they know all the short cuts.

My boss asked me to roundup 17 employees pronto. So I said, “20.”

When you can’t say ‘let’s just forget the whole thing’, you know crisis level has been reached.

I’ve found a job helping a one armed typist do capital letters. It’s shift work.

A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.

When I was younger, I really wanted to be a banker…but I kept losing interest.

Tell me, how many people work in your company? About half!

Coworkers have told me that I’m condescending… that means I talk down to people.

I once owned an origami business but it folded.

Why did the can crusher quit his job? Because it was soda pressing!

I got fired at work today, she said my communication skills weren’t up to scratch. I didn’t know what to say.

I had a nightmare of a day, the computers went down and everything had to be done manually. It took me ten minutes just to shuffle the cards for solitaire.

I reached the office this morning and the boss stormed up to me and said ‘you missed work yesterday, didn’t you?’. I said ‘No, not particularly.’.

My interviewer told me my wage would increase to £2,500 per month after six months…I told him I’d start then.

My job at the paperless factory was going really well…until I went to the loo.

“‘You can’t wear pyjamas to work’

‘Why not? Everyone else does’

‘That’s because they’re the patients!’”

My new colleagues are so much fun, they write names on all the food. Yesterday, I ate a yogurt named ‘Susan’; how cute is that?

After announcing I don’t answer to anyone, I quickly lost my job at the call centre

I phoned a call centre today and it said all the advisors were engaged. I was delighted for them.

‘You all worked really hard this year, I’m giving you all a cheque for £2,000. If you work the same next year, I’ll sign them’.

Sadly, the man who invented autocorrect has passed away, may he restaurant in pieces.

I see they’re thinking about using drones to deliver magazines, that’ll raise some issues.

‘Who should we notify just in case you fall ill in the office?’ ‘A very good doctor, please’

My job is incredibly secure, nobody wants it!

Nothing ruins a Friday more than realising it’s actually Tuesday.

“‘What’s your biggest weakness?’

‘I’m really honest’

‘That’s not necessarily a bad thing, you know’

‘I don’t really care what you think’”

My CV is a list of things I hope future employers never ask me to do.

I started my business with nothing and I still have most of it.

The trouble with being punctual for business meetings is that nobody’s there to appreciate it.

“After telling a joke, the manager looks around to see everybody laughing. However, one guy sits in the corner without even a smile.

‘Didn’t you get it?’ ‘I got it, but I handed my notice in yesterday’”

““Boss I need a raise – there are three companies after me right now.”

“Really? Which ones?”

“Gas, electric, and water.””

My wife tells me I talk in my sleep all the time. But I’m skeptical. Nobody at work ever mentions it.”

“‘How well do you work with PowerPoint?’

‘I think I Excel with it’

‘Is that an “Office” joke?’

‘Word’”

A local hairdresser put up a new sign ‘we give £3 haircuts’. Seeing this, the barber next door decided to erect their new sign ‘we fix £3 haircuts’.

And finally just a few Christmas cracker jokes to end the year.

“Why is Santa always cast as the lead in the local musical?

Because he has such good presents.”

“Why did Santa Claus get a parking ticket on Christmas Eve?

He left his sleigh in a snow parking zone”

Why is it getting harder to buy Advent calendars? Their days are numbered!

How did Scrooge win the football game? The ghost of Christmas passed!

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